Stephanie chidi Osugo
Parenting sometimes is a struggle. You want to be at peace but a lot of things are pulling you. If you are a Nigerian, you understand.
Stephanie Chidi Osugo.
This headline is a contradiction I believe. The article is based on a question raised by an adorable mum “when it comes to peaceful parenting, what are the struggles?” another beautiful mother responded with “ Peaceful and struggle in the same sentence?” I laughed out loud. This is because I can honestly relate with both ladies. There is a need to be a peaceful parent but the struggle comes with balancing that and ensuring discipline in your child. Especially when you have instilled confidence in your child and that child is using that confidence against you.
Anyways, no matter how peaceful you think you are especially when single, get ready some little humans ‘will try’ that peace.
I have a friend, interestingly, her name is Comfort. She is one of the most quiet, easy going, peaceful persons and closest friend I have had since I was a teenager. She actually depicts her name.She got married, and had children. She changed.
Her voice was still mellow but it was louder now. Some people tried her patience. Five of them! We in Africa are used to yelling mothers but we are trying now to change the trend and parent quietly by choice, be more responsible, not take out our frustrations out on the kids, be more modern. I admire your efforts and I encourage you. Be strong, you are doing well and you will get there one day, maybe when your last is 18. (This part is on a lighter note now).
Parenting sometimes is a struggle. You want to be at peace but a lot of things are pulling you. If you are a Nigerian, you understand.
- The bills are staring you in the face: While most people tend to stay in their lane, try and hustle hard and not live beyond their means etc, we are faced with inflation on a large scale, the rate of unemployment and the cost of basic life essentials can daunt even the most stoic hearted. If you can add other sources of income then go for it. If things are currently challenging, please be kind and patient with yourself. Do not give up hope and keep moving.
- Changing societal values: My advice on this is to do your best. Know the values you want to instill in your child and start early. Children can understand any concept if broken down to their age range. Most importantly, they learn best from observing you. So model those values to them and they will pick them up from you.
- Peer Pressure: If you do the above, you will have formed a bond with your child that will continue till when they are faced with this. As such you can guide till the years when they don’t even want to listen to you but they remember. They really do.
- Pray hard! It is sad that this one thing that should be the first has been relegated to the background. But many of us know that we cannot raise our children by and of ourselves. We need the guiding hands of God. He made them, he knows them and whenever you cannot reach them, you can be sure that beneath are the everlasting arms. Pray hard. I say this to parents. I say this to mothers especially. You will reap of the sacrifice.
· Self-Care: Go somewhere, find your peaceful place. Relax, Rejuvenate, then continue. You will look back soon and smile, and wonder what the struggle was all about. It will all be fine, in the end, but you must find your peace in the midst of the struggle
